Time Flies When You're In Motion

Oh how long it's been. I don't even remember writing the previous blog. Time has seem to flown by or has it really? I wish I could tell you that two years later my life has come full circle. The pain and distress I felt without you has seem to die away. Now, in a new relationship, I am in even bigger anguish than before.

I am stuck in life right now. The car is neutral and I keep stepping on the gas pedal, only revving on the engine and going nowhere. Why is it?

I am torn on what my true feelings are. I don't know how to continue...maybe another day I shall write more.

With Or Without You Day 1

As I sit here, typing away my feelings, all I am hoping for is to have all of the pain and anguish to simply disappear. Although this is not the official day that I am left without you, to me it seems like it is the first day. The wound, still open, is exposing all my misery. It is never healing, no matter how much time I give it. So this is my outlet for all my leftover emotions I have for him. Emotions that I can't even begin to express to my best friends, or family. Why? Simply because...

I truly don't understand, were they all lies that you told me and others?

None the less, i am hurt. I stare out my window and see the sun's ray strike the leaves of the tree outside my window, and all i seem to remember and think of is him and all the wonderful memories i had. How ironic is that I only remembered all the good aspects of our relationship after it ended... but while we were together, all i focused on was the horrible pain you put me through and how it was so not worth it.